fauxstor.net

New connection...

Yes, at last. 1.5 down, 768 up. Decent, at least. Wordlcom, MCI, or whatever you broke ass motherfuckers want to call yourselves, get your shit together. Frankly, I am too tired to post all the entries deriding WorldCom and my ISP. Not worth any more of my effort. I will add up all the time I spent on the phone with them as soon as my next cell phone bill comes in. I am sure it is close to 7 or 8 hours.

Unrelatedly, I tried to log in to my CalFed account, which is of course now CitiBank. I was a little loaded at the time, so I typed clafed.com instead. Where does that resolve to? Click it and see. Nice competitive move. Too bad the old tahoo.com isn't up any more.

Posted by paul at 9:14 PM

Fashion Toy Addiction

Those who know me well are aware that I have a horrible addiction. Well, several, of course. But the one I am talking about today is of the fashion toy persuasion. Specifically, I am addicted to collecting Kubricks, Qees, and other similarly scaled figures.

Now that we are more or less moved-in to the new place, I had some time to put up some shelves and unpack the toys. The result are these two glorious shelves of my collection (thus far). Expect it to keep growing.

Also, my birthday is June 28. I will update the pics so you can be sure not to get me any duplicates by mistake. I am a whore.

Shelf 1.

Shelf 2.

Posted by justin at 2:18 PM

Network sorrows

You may have noticed general slowness on all ther servers lately. This is because I hijacked my landlady's DSL line which has a ghastly upload speed of 128. I ordered DSL on March 14 for our new apartment. For some reason, the order didn't get entered until the 19th. So that was fuckup number 1.

Next, they didn't have enough ports to plug my phone line into at the CO. The status on that didn't get updated until April 5th. Finally got my port, and it took until April 15th for the line activation. I got my router on the 15th as well, plugged it in, and no sync. I called them, and was told by underling #344 that there was fiber on my line. Sure, right. The phone wires right next to mine have DSL running over them, so I was rather doubtful of that scenario.

Called next day and talked to the supervisor (who was off the day before). My golden rule: ONLY talk to supervisors. I had violated it since he was unavailable, and of course got bad information.

I talked to him, and found out there was actually an AC voltage leak on my line. That got fixed. Now I have sync. Waited 24 hours for router to get added to their network.

Now the router is somehow fouled up (supposedly). Ran some configs on the router via telnet. No go. I can get pinged from the ISP, but they can't telnet to the router. It is April 18th. When this shit gets turned on, it better live up to it's expectations of being FAST as HELL. If not, then I will post at least 10 blogs, one a day, dedicated to dissuading anyone from seeking service through these losers.

I will withhold their name until the service is up, unless it isn't up by Monday, in which case I will post 15 blogs, one a day, strongly dissuading anyone from enlisting their "services". And 10 Hail Marys.

Posted by justin at 11:10 AM

Infinity personally debunked

* NOTE: this blog first appeared in a chat session. Surprise.

As a Post-Catholic, generally anti-theite individual, most religion looks like a bunch of bullshit. As a result, I am compelled to seek meaning in the universe through articles from space.com and Scientific American. No, I have not reached any final analysis. However, I have concluded this: infinity does not exist.

Sure, you could always think of the biggest number possible, and then add one to it. But then, you could think of one Mona Lisa. You really can't add too many to that. Or the Great Pyramid at Giza. Because there's only one.

Take all the matter in the (expanding) universe. Divide it by the inverse of all the sub-atomic particles that comprise it. O.K, thats my shit. What you got? Umm, nothing, I took it all.

Add something to mine and it's all yours. Fresh out? Can't find anything? Of course not. Sure, it's mad loot, but I got all the goods. Ya, we could pretend there's something else left to add to it, theoretically, but really there's not.

But we do pretend. What happens as a result? Mankind limits itself. We think about infinity and eternity, and let the temporal and finite pass us by while not affecting them.

If you want to be immortal do mortal deeds. This ain't no grasshopper and the ant fable. You think there's a long winter ahead, and I say it's summer all year long.

Posted by paul at 12:22 AM | Comments (3)

Lefty Ali

If I were really poor, the first thing I would try to obtain in a state of lawlessness is a tank of nitrous oxide. That is about the only explanation I can come up with for the wholesale looting of hospitals in Iraq. I would have my buddy go loot the DJ supply store, and get some strobe lights, tables, and a mixer and it's party time, American Style! Not too much chance of getting laid at that party, though. I mean, all I see is footage of folks tearing down statues and looting, and I wonder, where the bitches at? I have seen pretty much zero broads in the streets of Baghdad feeling their freedom. Now we'll have to send some forces in to liberate the ladies. About as much chance of that happening as there is of Catherine A. McKinnon becoming a member at Augusta National Golf Club.

Posted by paul at 4:22 PM | Comments (2)

blame Canada

Two words. I have two words for you: FREEZING RAIN. Not snow. Not hail. Freezing fucking rain. The next person that comes to San Francisco to visit and jokes about how shitty the weather is here will get a busted jaw. Canada has instilled a renewed sense of pride in my hometown climate. It is April, isn't it? It was actually hailing when we left S.F., but I will take that ANY day over freezing rain.

Then you may say, "oh you're such a sissy. I live in Wisconsin." No, I am not a sissy. Rather, you are a total fucking idiot. Why would anyone in their right mind live in Wisconsin. Or the Northwest Territories. We should give Wisconsin to Canada. The only reason we didn't conquer the whole mass of it was it was so cold, we didn't want it. Except the oily part: Alaska. Helluva steal.

Remember the ice age? Probably not, it was a while ago. However, humans felt the need to migrate during that minor downturn in the weather. Ice melts away, humans go back to former tundra land. The ice hasn't melted away here.

Yo, Canada, look at a map. See all that shit down here? Come check it out, eh?

Posted by justin at 5:48 PM | Comments (3)

duct tape and bailing wire

my network is pretty much being held together by cold spaghetti and chewing gum. My external NIC is UNWELL and I am leaving for Detroit then D.C tomorrow a.m. I don't expect my dynamic IP to survive the week while I am gone. This site, and all the others I host, will probably be down in a few days for a few days. When I get back, I will publish lots of really good stuff (finally), I swear.

Posted by justin at 12:06 AM | Comments (1)

bandwidth diminished

Expect delays for the next 2 weeks or so. I am on a garbage SBC Yahoo DSL line (128 up) until my 1500/768 gets activated. I had been getting 384 up on Earthlink. Then I moved. For now, things will be slow. Sorry.

Posted by justin at 11:34 PM | Comments (1)